How To Have Oral Sex

By: Roberto Bell

Cunnilingus and fellatio - two terms that certainly are a bit of a mouthful!

OK, OK, forgive the pun. It's maybe only funny if you're getting regular oral sex. And how many people do? Perhaps fewer than you think. One of my oldest mates once confided to me that he couldn't sway his wife to go down on him - to give him fellatio. And was he ever having the option to go down on her? No way - she made that clear from the beginning of their relationship.

He was desperately sorrowful about it, partly because he knew how good it feels, but also because he knew how much sexy pleasure she would get if she let him try it on her. But she seemed to be fixed in the idea that the genitals were "dirty", and nothing would induce her to let a lover's mouth anywhere near them. Ironically, did she but know it, the healthy human vagina is an extremely bacteria-free place - much cleaner than the mouth in terms of bacteria are concerned.

Most men know exactly just how pleasurable it is to obtain oral sex, although many have told me they like giving it to a woman almost as much. But women appear to be more hesitant to give oral sex than to welcome it. If you're a man in this position, what's to be done? Many of the web sites on this theme are not printed in a female-friendly way, and could clearly be off-putting rather than encouraging if you were to introduce a reluctant partner to them. But if a woman is hesitant to perform fellatio when you want her to, anything more than gentle persuasion could become into a big relationship issue.

In the end, you might have to respect what is more important to you. And guys, let's have a bit of sensitivity over this: it is every partner's right to say "No" to sexual activites which they find unappealing.

But it's also important to get to the root of a woman's concern about oral sex: is it that she might suffocate? Or that you might ejaculate in her mouth? These fears are understandable: semen might not taste as good as you think, and it can indeed absorb the flavor of what you've just eaten, especially spices (e.g. curry) and beer. Worst of all, so I am told, is asparagus.

Of course if you can't get your female partner to give you fellatio, it's a disappointment, and it may infer some fairly hidden sexual issues. Perhaps she believes sex itself is "dirty", and good girls don't do that kind of thing. Perhaps her attitude would change if you spent some time giving her oral sexual pleasure? If this doesn't work, or if she doesn't want you to do it to her, then talking about it may help to resolve the underlying issues.

The saddest thing of all is that cunnilingus (the use of the partner's tongue, lips and mouth on a woman's sexual organs) seems to be one way in which most women can achieve orgasm fairly clearly. A study by Men's Health magazine revealed that oral sex by men for women was "one of the most desired and exciting sexual activities that a man could perform for a woman; over and over again, the women said how much they loved it." It also has been ranked as the most satisfying action a man can do for a woman. In another study 81% of women said that they could come to orgasm through oral sex.

It stands to reason, because I can't think of anything more exciting right now than the scent and taste of a vagina. So close to their lover, most men will become very aroused, and their better energy and enthusiasm will feed their lover's feeling of being loved and wanted: it's massively flattering for a woman to know that she turns her partner on so profoundly. Furthermore, there is a profound significance in the act of "going down" on a woman - something to do with her being exciting, something that says how she is respected and loved.

We're still obsessed at some bass level by our animal ancestry, and even though I understand for some men and women that the "animalistic" aspects of sex can be a bit off-putting, perhaps we should just allow ourselves to react to our basic desires and enjoy the highly stimulating sights and scents of a partner's intimate regions.

But if the smell and taste of your partner's genitals actually does bother you, then why not work a welcoming} bath and massage session into your lovemaking? And of course this particular issue cuts both ways, for men sometimes need to guarantee their hygiene is up to scratch.

The best way to find out how to give oral pleasure to a woman is to hear what your partner says she wishes. But you can make a good start by reading a fantastic account of how to do oral sex on a web-site that contains a detailed description of cunnilingus, printed sensitively and imaginatively for men: http://www.my-penis.org/

One final point - there is a small number of men who find the idea of orally pleasuring their partners an uncomfortable one. So try this picture: in ancient Chinese art, a woman's genitals are often depicted as a peony flower. And if you take a whiff of a peony, your face is engulfed in a huge, aromatic mass of pink petals. Delicious!

Article Source: EZINEPRIME - FREE WEB CONTENT and ARTICLES

Rod Smith is a therapist with www.my-penis.org..

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