How To Have Oral Sex

By: Roberto Bell

Cunnilingus and fellatio - two terms that certainly are a bit of a mouthful!

OK, OK, forgive the pun. It's possibly only a joke if you're getting normal oral sex. And how many people do? Possibly fewer than you think. One of my oldest contacts once confided to me that he couldn't persuade his companion to go down on him - to give him fellatio. And was he ever going to have the chance to go down on her? No way - she made that absolute from the start of their relationship.

He was desperately sorrowful about it, in part because he knew how pleasurable it feels, but also because he knew how much wonderful pleasure she would get if she let him try it on her. But she seemed to be fixed in the idea that the genitals were "dirty", and nothing would induce her to let a lover's lips anyplace near them. Ironically, did she but know it, the healthy feminine vagina is an extremely bacteria-free place - much cleaner than the mouth as far as bacteria are concerned.

Most men know very well just how pleasurable it is to receive oral sex, though many have told me they enjoy offering it to a woman almost as much. But women might be more reluctant to give oral sex than to receive it. If you're a man in this position, what's to be done? Many of the web sites on this subject are not written in a female-friendly way, and could simply be off-putting rather than encouraging if you were to introduce a reluctant partner to them. But if a woman is averse to perform fellatio when you want her to, anything more than gentle persuasion could grow into a big relationship problem.

In the end, you might have to respect what is more important to you. And guys, let's have a bit of sensitivity over this: it is every partner's right to say "No" to sexual activites which they find unappealing.

But it's also important to get to the source of a woman's fear about oral sex: is it that she might suffocate? Or that you might come in her mouth? These fears are understandable: semen might not taste as good as you think, and it can surely absorb the taste of what you've lately eaten, especially spices (e.g. curry) and beer. Nastiest of all, so I am told, is asparagus.

Of course if you can't get your female partner to give you fellatio, it's a disappointment, and it may hint at some quite pressing sexual issues. Perhaps she believes sex itself is "dirty", and good girls don't do that kind of thing. Maybe her stance would change if you spent some time giving her oral sexual pleasure? If this doesn't work, or if she doesn't want you to do it to her, then discussing it may help to resolve the underlying issues.

The saddest thing of all is that cunnilingus (the use of the partner's tongue, lips and mouth on a woman's sexual organs) seems to be one way in which most women can attain orgasm fairly simply. A survey by Men's Health magazine revealed that oral sex by men for women was "one of the most preferred and exciting sexual activities that a man could offer to a woman; over and over again, the women said how greatly they loved it." It also has been ranked as the most satisfying action a man can do for a woman. In another survey 81% of women said that they could come to orgasm through oral sex.

It stands to reason, because I can't think of anything at all more exciting right now than the scent and taste of a vagina. So close to their lover, most men will become extremely aroused, and their increased energy and enthusiasm will nourish their lover's feeling of being loved and wanted: it's very flattering for a woman to know that she turns her partner on so profoundly. Furthermore, there is a profound significance in the act of "going down" on a woman - something to do with her being honored, something that says how she is respected and loved.

We're still obsessed at some extreme level by our animal heritage, and even though I understand for some men and women that the "animalistic" aspects of sex can be a bit off-putting, maybe we should just permit ourselves to respond to our fundamental desires and enjoy the purely stimulating sights and scents of a partner's intimate regions.

But if the smell and taste of your partner's genitals genuinely does bother you, then why not work a warm} bath and massage session into your lovemaking? And of course this particular problem cuts both ways, for men sometimes need to guarantee their hygiene is up to scratch.

The best way to find out how to give oral pleasure to a woman is to listen to what your partner says she wants. But you can make a good start by studying a fantastic account of how to do oral sex on a web-site that contains a complete description of cunnilingus, written sensitively and imaginatively for men: http://www.my-penis.org/

One closing point - there is a small number of men who find the idea of orally pleasuring their partners an uncomfortable one. So try this picture: in ancient Chinese art, a woman's genitals are regularly depicted as a peony flower. And if you take a whiff of a peony, your face is engulfed in a vast, aromatic mass of pink petals. Delicious!

Article Source: EZINEPRIME - FREE WEB CONTENT and ARTICLES

Rod Smith is a counselor with www.my-penis.org..

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